You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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