Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
3 2 1 whiskey
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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