Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
