dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just had sex bonerless
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
