it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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