apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
