If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
