Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
