I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
