I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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