I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
