It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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