I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it penis luge time yet?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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