I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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