when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
