Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
