look no pants
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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