So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
