My nipple is on Facebook.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
