oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
