do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
