Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
