I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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