I'm gonna have a badass scar
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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