So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
