And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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