Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
