Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it's like iHOP with fire
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
