I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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