So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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