we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
