I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This baby is an asshole
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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