Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
