In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
