i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
