I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
