Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize