im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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