I faked an abortion last night.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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