i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
