Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
