I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
