and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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