She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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