Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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