Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
