I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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