mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
