East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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