your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
