I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
