I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
